In 2019, after an unexpected loss just 5 days after she returned from a
whirlwind trip to France with her husband, Bevin Farrand founded the Take
the DAMN Chance movement. Her DAMN framework has inspired thousands
to connect with the people that they love, do the “crazy thing” that makes all
the difference and, when given a choice, to take the damn chance.
Additionally, she is a coach that supports women in achieving their goals,
even after going through deeply challenging experiences.
In this episode, Julie chats with Bevin about using the TRIP filter to help you define what success means to you right now. This powerful episode will help you avoid the comparison trap and self-sabotage in your business.
FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/takethedamntrip
INSTAGRAM: @bevinfarrand https://www.instagram.com/bevinfarrand/
BOOK: Your DAMN Manifesto: Discover the Keys to Personal Transformation and Bringing Your Biggest Dreams to Life. Get it at https://amzn.to/44QQZ0L (referral link)
Six Dimensional Why: https://sixdimensionalwhy.com/
ICYMI - If you've ever thought of launching a digital course, you will want to know that our friend Amy Porterfield has opened enrollment to Digital Course Academy, the top program to teach you how to create your own digital course.
It's open through Sept 27 and if you enroll using my affiliate link, you'll get some extra special bonuses!
Check them out at https://www.subscriptionboxbasics.com/dca-bonus.
So you wanna launch a subscription box and don't know where to start? Girl, you are in the right place. I'm Julie Ball. And I'm Renee Gonzalez, your host here at Subscription Box Basics, a podcast for new and aspiring subscription box entrepreneurs wanting to avoid overwhelm. So grab a coffee, some pen and paper, and let's have some fun. Hey everybody. Welcome back to a subscription box Basics. I am pumped for today's conversation because I have my friend Bevin on the podcast with me, and she is the founder of the Take the Damn Chance Movement. She also has a podcast and I listened to it recently and immediately. After listening to this episode, I reached out to her and I said, you've got to come on the podcast because this is something that we talk about, but also to hear it from your perspective is amazing. So today we're talking about what is your definition of success and how to figure that out. So Bevin, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. I, think we've talked about doing some kind of podcast episode for a long time. Yes. So I'm so excited we're making it happen. Yes. And it's fun because we have a mutual friend. I actually met Bevin through our mutual friend first, and then over the years, We just run in a lot of the same entrepreneurial circles, so it's been so fun to watch this movement. Take shape Bevin. And so why don't we start with an introduction and then you can tell them about how the take the damn chance movement was born. Yeah, absolutely. So, The take the damn chance movement really started by accident. As some of the best things do. So I do say the word damn a lot, but it does stand for something. I like to kind of get that out of the way early on. So it stands for deciding and declare a Tyrone party moments not minutes, and now is the time. It started. So way back in 2019, my husband Mark surprised me with tickets to France for my 40th birthday. So we had six months to plan cuz we had two kiddos under the age of three. And we immediately started planning. We love stuff like that. And two weeks later I lost my job and it was the third time in under 10 years that I had lost my job for one reason or another. And a few weeks after that, I told Mark. I don't wanna look for a job I want, which he was an engineer, so I think his little wheels in his brain like grind into a halt. But I. I said, I don't wanna put the financial health of our family into the hands of any one person ever again, which I would imagine a lot of your listeners feel that same way as they're creating their subscription box and wanting to either diversify your income or replace it. Right? Like you have that feeling. And so I said to him, let's just test it. Let's do a proof of concept, see if I can start to build my own business. I wanted to take. Everything I'd been doing for the 10 years prior and apply it to small businesses and entrepreneurs. I was a digital marketer, a brand director, so I wanted to help them grow their businesses. In fact, I've worked with some subscription boxes to help them grow their businesses when they started. So we tested, I said, let's see if I can make $5,000 by the end of August. I made $0 in June. I made a th a whole thousand dollars in July, which was a big deal. And by the end of August, I had made $5,000. Nice. And by the time we had, we were ready to leave for our trip, which was in November, I had made $35,000 in my business, which was amazing. I was not expecting it to grow that quickly, but we still thought the trip was a little bit crazy because we were gonna be in planes the same amount of time that we were on the ground. Oh wow. So we were, I was like, should we just cancel? Should we go? I, said to him when he first gave me the tickets, like, babe, shouldn't we go someplace easier like Paris, where we don't have to change in Detroit and Amsterdam? And he said something that I swear has never been said ever before, which is, Paris is a cop out. So he was like determined for us to go someplace that neither of us had ever been. So we go to Bordeaux, have an amazing time, wander through this incredible city, drinking delicious wine, eating incredible food, and I got to spend my 40th birthday with my best friend and the love of my life. And we came home and it was the week of Thanksgiving. So we were getting ready around the house. We took our daughter to her first movie theater show. Had 25 people at Thanksgiving, cuz it was pre pandemic. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a whole different world. Remember those days? Yes. And the day after Thanksgiving, I went upstairs to wake up, mark, and he had passed away in the middle of the night completely unexpectedly. We had no idea this was coming. He weighed the same he did in high school, but he had undiagnosed heart disease. One of his arteries was 95% blocked and the other was 50% blocked. So all of a sudden my life is completely flipped upside down. I am now a solo parent for two kids under the age of three. I'm the sole financial provider. I have this new business that, yes, it had made money, but it had not yet stood the test of time. And. So about a month after that, I had made a post on social media talking about that trip, talking about my birthday, and I ended the post by saying, whenever you're faced with a choice, just take the damn trip. And that really resonated with people. I got so many messages from people. You got chills too. People were just reaching out saying, you know, I was gonna say no to this trip, but now I'm gonna do it. Or I went on this trip before my dad passed away and it meant the world to me. Or most importantly, it was like, I'm going to stop pushing my dream to the side. I'm not going to wait any longer. And that's we, I actually switched it from take the damn trip to take the damn chance. Mostly because people thought I was a vacation planner and they were like, where are we going on our cruise? So we changed it to take the damn chance. Really as a way of saying like, what is that thing, that dream on your heart that you keep pushing to the side? Take the chance on that, and I then used this same framework. I used this in everything. I used this same framework to make. My hardest, well, the decision wasn't hard, but to, go after my biggest, boldest dream. Which was that when Mark passed away, we were about 60 days away from starting our next round of ivf. So all of my kiddos are IVF babies. I've always wanted to be the mom of three. So we were about 60 days away from starting that third round, and I just could not imagine losing that dream. At the same instant that I lost the love of my life. And so in November of 2020, I made the decision to move forward with that I V F. And in July of 2021, I had marks in my third child. So my daughter MIRIs Stella, cuz she's a miraculous star. And that was, I went through that same damn framework, right? I decided and declared, I attended my own party by staying present in the moment. I focused on the moments, not the minutes. And the n, the now is the time. I said there's never gonna be this. Perfect Tuesday. When it makes sense for me to have my third child with my deceased husband's embryos. It's not like you wake up one day and you're like, oh, what makes sense? Today's perfect for that. Yes, today's the perfect day. So I said, well, now there's never gonna be a perfect day, so why not today? And that, framework really has just defined everything in my life. It defines my vision of success in my business. Relationships, health, my parenting, every single thing. It's brilliant. And if you are watching this video, like you could see, you can tell when I get emotional because my eyes get kind of. Misty, but my nose turns bright red. So just a minute ago my, I could see my nose was red because it's such a touching story. And Bevin, you and I have been friends for years now, and I remember you walking through those steps, making those decisions and declaring it like that. This was your big, bold dream and you were going for it. Yeah, and it takes a lot of guts to do that. It takes a lot of mindset work, and that's exactly what you're using this framework for. So you use the framework then to share with others, and you do speaking engagements, you have a podcast, and so some of those are some of the ways, that you are sharing that framework and helping people make those, big decisions. Yeah. Well, and so there's two things that you brought up that I think are really important for me to address. One is the declaring, right? So it's decide and declare. And sometimes when people hear that, they think, oh, so I've gotta go shout it from the social media rooftops. I'm starting this business like I just had an idea last night and now it's my new mission. Right? Yeah. That's not what I mean by any means. I teach what I call layered declarations, which is that we start to build our community and build our support network, our tribe, if you will, through layer declarations. So you start by just declaring it to yourself, right? We're gonna talk about personal vision of success. Right? And you declare what that is to yourself. That's the decide part. And you start to say it like to, you say you think it, say it, write it down. Write it. So that you start to get. Comfortable talking about it. Then you just bring two to three cheerleaders in, and these are people who have the ability to cheer you on without criticism, which is not everyone. Right. Right. It's usually not the per, you're like, oh it's, probably not your mom. Right Exactly. It's not your cynical sister. Yeah. If you're starting a subscription box, it's me and Renee. Yeah, exactly. Right. Your two to three cheerleaders are Julie and Renee. Like, that's just, that's a no-brainer. Right? Right. Because like when I first decided to get pregnant to go through I v F and hopefully get pregnant, right. I. I shared it with a couple of people who were not supportive. Who were scared for me it wasn't malicious by any means. And I have to remind myself of that, but they were scared. They were like, what happens if something happens to you? Or, and so I, they could not be my cheerleaders. It's not their fault. They just did not have the capacity to hold that space for me. So I then brought two to three. They're my book club friends, I'm not gonna lie. Nice. I brought two to three of my book club girlfriends into a text thread, and I said, your only job here is to cheer me on. It is to say like, yay, ultrasound, hooray for blood tests. Like you took seven pregnancy tests and three said yes, and three said no and one was broken. That's such great news. Like that was their job. Because, and then as things progress, then you invite some more people in. That's more like your support network, like your your, first string if you will. Then you invite more people and it's, if you imagine like the target logo, right? I like to say a bullseye, but like the target logo, let's be honest. And it's just increasing your concentric circles. As you build clarity. Confidence, momentum because those people that didn't have the capacity to cheer you on when you were just ch like just starting out this little baby idea. When you have more clarity and you have more momentum, then they'll feel more comfortable. Cheering you on. They'll have the ability to do it. So that's one of the important things with. Declaring. And then the other piece you brought up was the mindset, cuz it 100% is mindset, but I don't think mindset is the most important thing. I like fly in the face of most personal development people, coaches. I don't think mindset is the most important. Movement is more important. 100% of the time movement over mindset because we don't get. We don't get inspired to get into action. We can actually be terrified and frozen. Think about that. You're like, I wanna do this thing, but I am so scared and I'm going to wait till I'm not scared and then I'll take action, or I'm gonna wait till I never have negative thoughts and that's just never gonna happen. Yeah. So instead, if you know your personal vision of success, you have deci, I call it your damn manifesto, if you know what that is. And you know that now is the time and there's never gonna be a perfect day. Then we break it into what I call micro actions, and it's the smallest possible action that you will actually take. I like that. And if you're still frozen, it's not small enough, like go way smaller. So, You know, even if they're thinking like, Hey, I wanna do a subscription box, but I'm waiting to like, define the perf the perfect idea. And like all these things that's never gonna happen. Like, what are the micro actions? And your course does such a good job of breaking things into micro actions. Thank you. Cuz I've taken your course Years ago I was gonna have a subscription box and then I just, I stopped because it no longer made sense for me to do so. And that's something we have to think too, is like, we're gonna keep pursuing this dream until it doesn't make sense anymore. And that's, and it's okay. It doesn't mean you, you can pivot. It can change. Yeah. You can tweak, you can pivot. All of those things. I like what you were saying about movement because I remember interviewing someone else in during my Sparkle hustle, grow years. And she said, we were talking about Facebook Live videos. It was Melanie. Melanie, yeah. How, and she said, action creates confidence. And that's the same type of thing of what you're talking about is just start movement, start doing that. And you're naturally going to learn to do the hard things, but you're gonna start having more confidence when you do those things. And the cool thing is this is gonna sound completely like opposite from what you're gonna think. Right. The cool thing is like very few people are watching you at the start, like it's really good news because people are like, well, no one's watching. I'm like, great. That is. Well, good. That's an excellent opportunity for you to practice. Yeah, right. You're only gonna have a handful of people by your first month of your subscription box. That's okay, because you're going to find out what did they like in there? What did they not, right? What was most, exciting for them? And as you find that out, then you do more of that. And as more people come in, you've practiced more. I think that before we move on that I wanna nail down that. That idea of practice. I can't tell you guys how many times I've recorded myself on audio or video on my phone before I actually went live. Yeah. Or before I recorded it for I. Actual use. I did practice. Yeah. I remember back in, gosh, I think it was 2017 when I tried out for Shark Tank, I had to do a pitch that was, I believe, 90 seconds, if I remember correctly. Yeah. I had two people that I would record that and I would send it to them, even though. I thought I did terrible and I was really self-conscious about it. I was like, okay, what am I missing? What can I improve? And I sent it to those two people. What you were saying, your high squad. Those Your cheerleaders. Cheerleaders, yeah. Yeah. And so it is about practice and you can practice behind the scenes. I used to. Do a lot of Facebook Lives, but I had my own private Facebook group that was literally just me and Renee in the group, and I said, Renee, I'm gonna just go live in here. I just needed a second person to make it. An official group. Yeah. And I said, I'm just gonna go live in there. I'll probably delete them. Because I don't even want you to see these because I'm so nervous. Yeah. But I just wanna learn the tech. I wanna want, I wanna go live and I wanna push all the buttons behind the scenes just to see what happens. Yeah. And so it's really important to do that practice. But even that practice, That's movement. Yes, it is. A hundred percent. And, you get, so your micro actions get bigger. And they come faster and they're easier. So the, truth is everything is just a series of micro actions, right? Think about when e either you or your kid is learning to ride their bike, right? There's like a lot of micro actions when they're first. Starting out, it's like, here's how you buckle your helmet. Here's how you like put your foot on the pedal. Here's how you swing your leg over. Here's how you know all of these things. Right? But when you just go ride a bike, you just get on the bike. Get on the bike. Yeah. Because the micro actions are bigger now. You're still doing all of those things. It's just that now a micro action seems like get the bike out of the garage and get on it. Yeah, it gets easier. Yeah. So it like for, you're talking about Facebook Live, right? Like, I love being on video. It doesn't freak me out at all. So I'll like throw my camera, throw my phone up and like record. If you guys follow me on Instagram you'll see like I do a lot of like straight to camera reels. I don't practice those at all. Like I just have an idea and I go live and, or I, you know, record it and if it doesn't go well, I just do another one. Yeah. But it used to be, okay, I'm just gonna like, I'm gonna go live, but I'm gonna make a big deal about it. And now it's not. Yeah. And so you just get, it gets more comfortable. Right. Okay. This is, we could talk about this all day long, I feel like. Yeah. But let's get down to the topic here that we came for is defining success. Yes. And everybody has their own definition of success. And one of the, quotes that I love is Her success is not your failure. And so you also have a quote that you shared in your podcast episode, and it was good for her, not for me. So break that down. Tell us about that. Oh, So somebody said this to me a while ago and then I had to go find it, and it's from Amy PO's book, and she's talking about how, like all these different things, right, that other people do that's like good for her, like so happy for her, not for me, right? Like. Like, her example was like home births, right? Yes. She's like, G Maya Rudolph had like a bunch of babies at home. She's like, good for her, not for me. Right. And we have to understand that, like, to say to somebody else that's a crappy idea. Like that's a bad dream. Like, you know, it's not, that's just their dream and like, good for them. It's just not for me. Right. Like, I have three sisters. Two of them have tried entrepreneurship. They are now back gainfully employed by other people. Like for them, it's like for looking at me as an entrepreneur and I am a keynote speaker, I get up on stage in front of hundreds of people and that would terrify them. Yeah. It's like, good for you, Bevin. Not for me. Right. Love that. And so I think that's the key is to say like, my personal definition of success does not negate anybody else's. It does not, it's not even making a statement on anybody else's. But a lot of times we think that we have to have these in comparison. And they don't. But what I see more often than not is other people saying that's their dream. I should have the same dream or something very similar. And if I don't, then my dream I. Is wrong or invalid, or not good enough, not as good, right? And, again, this is in everything. This is how we parent. There's like millions of different styles of parenting. And what works. Th this one is huge. It's like what works for somebody else may not work for me. But why does, why do we have to force our styles of parenting on somebody else? Yeah. Right. And seasons change too, like that might work for a season and then all of a sudden your kid wakes up the next day and now doesn't eat vegetables. Like Yeah, exactly. There's different seasons. I have a a good example in my life about. This whole like good for her, not for me. When I was running Sparkle Hustle Grow, I figured out that my sweet spot was somewhere between 1,015 hundred subscribers. That meant that I was able to pay my team and pay all of the. Ex operating expenses have a healthy salary for my own family and not lose my mind. Right. Trying to build an empire that I didn't want. Right. I never set out to be the next fab fit fund. I never set out to have a huge team. In fact, as my team grew, it was more of a strain on me because I realized I don't like managing people. Yeah. That's not my goal. That's not what I wanted. And as entrepreneurs, we get to choose. Yeah. What is a part of our lives most often, you know, you get to choose a path, choose your own adventure. And so when I told people that I capped my subscriber count, like I never went over 1500, they so often when I'd be interviewed on podcasts or whatever, their minds would be blown because everyone preaches like, grow your business, scale your business. And to me, Scale doesn't always mean scale up, sometimes it means scale back. Yeah. Oh man, that was good. Well, because think about it. Sometimes we, this is a whole nother business topic, right? But it's like your expenses go up as your revenue goes up. Yeah. So sometimes you're making, your business is waking, making way more money, but you aren't. Right? And so I had to I, have. Couple friends who keep reminding me of that. So I have worked behind the scenes as a launch manager and a brand director on multi-million dollar companies, right? Like some seven and some eight figure businesses. And there are times where I think, oh my God, I'm not there, right? Like I, when will I ever get there? I fir, first of all, I forget that they were in business for 10 years before I needed, but whatever. We all do that right? Somebody listening just heard you capped it at 1500 subscribers, like I'm at 15. Right? And so they're seeing you and being like, oh my gosh, I'll never get there. But you were doing it for years. They've had to remind me, Bevin, that's not the type of business you want to run. Yeah, I don't want to employ 45 people. Right. Because I've also been part of that 45 where a third of us got laid off. I don't wanna have to lay off. 15 people, right? Because we have a, because a pandemic hits. Because whatever hits. So that we're coming back to that personal definition of success. Totally. Is. So what I do, what, like the very first step? This is actually, I have a book coming out in September that goes through this piece of it is we define your DAM manifesto. Okay. And your DAM manifesto is your Yes. And your six dimensional why? So your Yes. Is the what, like what is it that you want? And too often we jump to, I want this, I want a subscription box. I want a business. But we haven't really explored all of the options. So, I say it's the difference between dreaming like children and dreaming like editors. So when you were a kid and when I, like, I have three kids under the age of seven, so I see this a lot, but like when they dream, it's like I wanna be a superhero that has these 17 different. Superpowers and also a teacher and a ninja. That is a real thing for my son, a ninja and a monster truck driver. Like the, he does not wanna be a teacher, but he does wanna be the other three things, right? Superhero ninja, monster truck driver. Like he has, there's no limitations on that. Yeah. He's like, why not? Right? Like, what do you mean I can't do those things? That is dreaming like a child. It is saying, Here's all the things I could possibly want. So I have my clients like the first thing you do is like set a timer for 15 minutes and just write until the water co go runs clear and all the possible ideas. I could have a subscription box. I could have a coaching business. I could teach yoga on the beach in Bali. I could write a book. I could write a movie. Like all these things, right? We're not editing. No editing at this time. You're just brain dumping. Then. The next step is you go back and you narrow it down and you say, no, do not want to do this. Like do not want to do that. Do not want to do that. Maybe this, and you start to, you narrow it down and you do pick one thing at a time. Because we can have everything we want. But we can't start it all at the same time. Right? Like I, I was, somebody challenged me on that. They're like, what do you mean I can't have it all at the same time? I'm like, well, you gotta get one plate spinning before you put another one up in the air. So we just pick the one thing that's your Yes. And. That is the start of your definition of success. Right? And you run it through what I call the trip filter. I was trying so desperately to keep this as take the damn trip that I like, made it into this trip filter and then I was like, people still think of a vacation. That's okay. So take us through the trip filter. It's four questions you're gonna ask yourself when you say, this is my yes, you're gonna ask. Am I willing to make this my top priority? Which does mean you're gonna have to say no to some other things, right? Even like just binging Netflix you're just gonna have, like, you can't start 17 business. You're talking right at me, aren't you? I'm talking at all of you listening. I'm talking right back to myself. You know, like you point at somebody and it's like four fingers pointing back at you. That's right. So yes, you're gonna have to say no to some other things. Like if you want to. Teach yoga on the beach in Bali and have a subscription box. Like that's hard cuz the internet's not great over there. Right? So you know, like you have to pick that top priority. Are you willing to resource it and resources, not just money, it's time, energy, focus, attention. When you start out, you may have more time than money and that's okay. You invest more time. That's the resource you have an abundance of. As you grow, you will have more money than time. That's when you bring on a team member. Cuz you need to buy more time. The eye is, it inspiring? Is it something that you're moving towards? So you wanna make sure it's written in a positive language. Our brains actually can't process a negative, they'll just still focus on the idea. It's like, if you say I, I don't wanna think about a purple elephant, then that's what you're gonna think about. Cuz you're gonna think about it and then you're gonna try to put a big X through it and think about anything else. But if instead you say, I like, I wanna think about a green giraffe. You don't think about elephants in relation to that, right? So you wanna say, I want to start a business as opposed to I want to leave my crappy job. Oh, okay. So you're moving towards something as opposed to away from it. And we can always, like reframe a sentence into that. Sure. Right? Like, I don't wanna yell at my kids, change to, I wanna be a a connected, involved parent, right? Like a peaceful parenting, whatever. Right. And then p is, it personal? So is it your definition of success? Is it your Yes. Because we spend way too much time chasing dreams that other people put on us or that are other people's. It's, you know, my parents wanted me to be a doctor, and so that's what I did, and 20 years later they find out I never wanted to do that. Or. Somebody else says, I should have an eight, you know, an eight figure business, and I should have 20,000 subscribers in my subscription box. That's what somebody said I should do. I don't want it. Right. I that's such a great thing because so many coaches and not just the subscription bar world, I'm talking about just coaching in general. Yeah. We talk about like. This is your framework for your six figure this or your seven figure that, or whatever. And I think that is starting to shift a lot because coaches are realizing that not everybody wants that. Yeah. What I do when I find myself in a situation where I am feeling less qualified or less successful or less whatever, I sit back and take a look at the big picture. Yeah. And I take a deep breath and I just say out loud like, I don't want what she has. I don't want that life good for her, not for me, not good for her, not for me. And there's so many, I'm so happy for that person. Like I try to be, I try to shift it of like, wow, she must feel good about her success. That's her definition definition of success. But I don't want what she has. Yeah. And so often if I remind myself that I don't want what she has, and that, that could be as easy as. You know, when you see the highlight reel on Instagram of someone's vacation, let's look at the, what's really happening. You know, when they get back and they're like, oh my gosh, we caught covid while we were on our trip. Like or, like right before that, you know, X, y, Z happened, and then you, yeah, my kids didn't nap for seven days and now taking us 10 days to get back on schedule. Exactly. There's so much more to every story than what we can see from the highlight reel or from social media so often. Yeah. And if you saw the big picture or the whole story, yeah. I guarantee you could look back and reflect on your own version of success and be like, I don't want what she has, or I don't want what he has. Yeah. I That's part of the A, the attend your own party, which is that we can always make ourselves feel better or worse depending on which direction we look. Yeah. And comparing ourselves to other people is actually. Completely useless. Like I will often again, like look at other coaches or other, and especially like, again, like you said on Instagram, I see these coaches talking about these like $10 million businesses and like$500,000 launches, and I'm like, whoa. Right? Like, okay. And. I could compare myself to that and then make myself feel really crappy. Right. Or I could compare myself to people who are like, I only made $10 last month. Right. Which I've been kind of in both spots. So same right. Like I could make my, I could quote unquote make myself feel better by looking that direction. It's useless. Yeah. Instead, what I will say is if there is somebody that you see in your industry that is inspirational to you, that you're like, oh man, I really love what they're doing, or I do hope to have that business, detach the person and just say, what is it about? That person, like maybe you love the way they authentically show up on maybe you love that they do these Facebook lives that like really feel like deep and authentic. Or maybe, you know, if you're looking at subscription boxes and you're saying, man, I just love the way that this box like has like how they describe all of what's in there. Right. And detach it and say what is the quality or the element that I am drawn to. And shoot for that. Yeah, I like that. That's cool. So you broke down this trip filter. Yeah. So that we can. Evaluate what our own version of success is. So what's your Bevin, what's your version of success right now? So, okay, so I created my own DAM manifesto for my business and my dam manifesto is to share the damn framework with as many people as possible in as many ways as possible in order to create a sustainable, thriving business that both supports. And inspires my family and the world. Nice. And so that is my yes. And my six dimensional why. And so my definition of success is to share the damn framework. Right, right. And so and, in as many ways as possible. So that's why I do keynotes, that's why I do trainings. You know podcast, That's why I started my podcast was how can I reach. More people. You know I, did a training this summer about how do we apply the DAM framework to relationships? Like how do we build our tribe using this DAM framework? And that's why I have a book coming out in September called Your DAM Manifesto, which like walks you through all this process. It's another way for me to share the DAM framework with as many people as possible. And that is also how I decide if I'm going to move forward on something because I will. Hold it up to my damn manifesto and say, is this in support of that or not? Like when I first started doing this work and I got offered a really big contract and, but it was project management, it was going back to what I used to do and I had to say, Is this in support of moving the damn framework forward? It absolutely is not. It puts me back behind the scenes not sharing it, and I had to say no. And that was a gut punch to be like, whew, I am not, I can't believe I'm saying no to this paycheck, quote unquote, but I, had to do it. And so my definition of success truly is just like, how many lives can I change? By sharing the damn framework and the do the damn thing method. That's really my definition of success. If I get to wake up every day and talk about the damn framework, talk about my kids, talk about my husband, talk about how I've built relationships and built businesses using this framework, then that is a successful life to me. Oh, that's so inspiring. And if you're listening and you hear this, and I want you to know that. That was probably not her version of success five years ago, 10 years ago. And it might be different in five or 10 years in the future. Yeah. And so I don't want you to get caught up on your version of success and and how it has to be the same all the time. Cuz you might have heard, when I asked Bevin what is her version of success? I said, what is your version of success right now? Yeah. So I think that's important. I, so that's why like even when you're like, if you read my book or just hear me talk about it, I'll say, what is your top priority for now? It doesn't mean, so the two things I always think of with that is when, so Mark and I were thinking about opening a coworking space in 2017. I just had our daughter and. I knew I was gonna get laid off for the second time. Like I, I picked it to the day I was right and I was like, let's open a coworking space. And I said to him, we're gonna pursue this until it no longer makes sense to do so. And if it makes, doesn't make sense anymore, then we're gonna stop. And there was one night where we got into a fight about it, honestly, and we rarely ever fought. And the next morning I had stayed up, like most of the night journaling and the next morning I said, I'm pulling the plug cuz it doesn't make sense to do it. And I only am able. To make those decisions without fe making, attaching like failure to it, right? Because when I was 13, I had dinner with my dad. I it's the best advice I've ever gotten and it's lasted over 30 years, so it's real good advice. So get ready for this friends who are listening. I had been offered a full ride scholarship to a boarding school, and it was a college prep boarding school. I probably could have written my acceptance letter to any school, but I didn't know if I wanted to do it or not. And we went to dinner, talked back and forth for three hours, and at the end of that dinner, my dad said to me, Bevin, you are going to make the best decision you can with the information you have at hand. And if in six months, or six weeks or six days, You make a different decision. It's not because this one is wrong. It's cause you have more information and you are making the best decision you can with the information you have at hand. It has changed the way I look at regret failure, anything. We're all doing the best that we can with what we have at hand. So to take it really tactical to your listeners, you wanna start a subscription box and you have decided that the best subscription box you could possibly come up with is nail polish for dogs, right? Like that's it. That is the one you want and you are committed to it. And in six days you find out that like, That's a terrible idea. Like no judgment on anybody that is your idea, but like you for whatever reason, right. You're like, it's too niche of a market. Like they're actually, it do nail polish for dogs doesn't actually like exist. I don't know. Right. The dogs, whatever that is. The paw Exactly. Like it makes them throw up, like whatever it is, there's only one brand, so that's like one month, like whatever. So, You have now have more information. And so then you can reevaluate that and say, actually, let me take a step back and do this. So that is, once you can put that in your head that I am just doing the best I can with the information I have at hand, continually taking in more information and being willing to always make the best decisions you can with that information. So, That was such great advice. Thank you so much for sharing that. So let's wrap it up by telling our listeners where they can find you online, where they can, how they can get some resources to make their own damn manifesto and get their hands on your book. So where can they find you? So if you want, obviously you love podcasts, so my podcast is called All the Damn Things. And it is just going into all the ways that we apply the damn manifesto. And then you can go sign up to be on the wait list for my firstname.lastname@example.org slash book, which is obviously also my website. I am Bevin Farrin everywhere, so on Instagram, on Facebook, all the things, I'm very fortunate to have a unique name. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so we will put all those links in the show notes so that they can use those as resources for their future and for making their own definition of success right now. Devin, thank you so, so much for joining me today. This was well worth waiting for and I appreciate all the great advice that you've shared today. Thank you for having me. It was my pleasure. Thanks everybody for listening today and we'll see you in the next episode. Bye.